Here’s to the old boss, he wouldn’t have screwed you like this

The only Boss we follow is singin' Born to Run.

Speck’s mouth.

It is like Clinton’s dick or Bush’s brain or any number of presidential organs that provide a constant font of material for comedians and asshole satire blogs.

He is at it again.

Today, RTV sent an email to the campus faculty and staff about possible cuts to the university budget. Was it a measured, well-reasoned analysis of the current political-economic climate as it relates to higher education?


It was diarrhea of the mouth as relates to high incompetence. And now, it is high comedy.

The email and our commentary after the jump.

Colleagues (read: underlings),

The President’s Council solicited comments across campus about ideas either to generate revenues or cut costs.  Did they go door-to-door? No. it was an online bullshit survey. Jeff Gibson has compiled those comments, Jeff Gibson did something? and the President’s Council has organized the comments into two categories, bat-shit crazy and completely unworkable those comments that seem to be immediately actionable and those that need more investigation.    What the fuck is this, Law and Order? A few items which referenced specific persons or positions have not been included on this list.  But a few have….

The President’s Council is now gathering data about subscribing to Barely Legal about the first category of comments to determine exact dollar amounts regarding revenues that would be generated or cuts resulting in savings.  I solicit any feedback you have.  You aren’t a cop, right? Please send your feedback to Jeff Gibson by noon, March 1, next Thursday.  Aren’t March 1 and next Thursday the same thing, dumbass? I will be moving quickly to provide a complete plan to fuck the university forevermore balanced budget (no use of reserves that we insisted we needed to build in order to use this year for the university that Bruce fucked) to the Board of Governors by the April meeting.

The list is available for review at  Please use southern\lastname-first initial and your LioNet pin to login.  We really promise that Al Stadler will not track you. We really do. The help desk is available at extension 4444 if you need assistance. Operators are standing by to refer you to relevant substance abuse and mental health organizations to assist with the effects of, well, us.

Thank you for your engagement in the budgeting process. (Isn’t this like thanking a rape victim for her contribution to the intercourse process?)

Bruce (Human Penis. Size small.)

Tomorrow, we look at the list in a derisive and dickish manner.


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