The Butcher’s Bill

The magic number is between 25-30.

Sources within the academy tell us that the number of people on the chopping block begins at 25. And might go to 30.

These will be split in yet-to-be determined amounts between faculty and staff. It will include the elimination of some departments and programs.

Our sources say one elimination will be in the area of foreign languages. One scenario reportedly under consideration calls for the elimination of all language programs other than Spanish and French.

Elimination of that department would divest the U of a department head, secretary and unnecessary faculty. Folding languages, communications and English into one department would eliminate two department heads and two secretaries, along with some faculty.

That makes about 5.

Let’s keep doing the math. If you eliminate the Institute of International Studies, you lose a department head and a secretary. Add two.

That makes 7. You are about 25 percent there.

Politically, you can’t let athletics out unscathed. So you kill golf and women’s soccer. A couple of coaches. Plus two.

That makes 9.

English and communications (post language assasination) are combined with art, theatre and music into one fine arts department. Eliminates three department heads and some staff. Let’s say Plus five.

That makes 14.

You are only halfway there and you have butt-fucked Arts & Sciences.

And that is just the beginning.

And if Rob Yust and company can live and sleep at night with that, then they will go to hell.

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