Imagine sitting at your desk and getting a nice little paper bag from the MSSU Employee Appreciation Committee.
How nice. A bagel? Some Jolly Ranchers or Snickers?
No. A fugly stress ball. A Lion stress ball.
Nothing says “Morale Booster” like a fucking stress ball. “Hey, we sure appreciate you and the constant shit you have to shovel and eat every day. We want to help ease the pain of your no-raise, plantationesque existence with this stress ball. When you feel like choking the life out of a member of Presidunce Council, just choke your little Lion.”
Jesus. How insulting is this shit? And you know you all have been thinking it, too. We were just too dumbfounded to comment before now.
Note: Send us pictures of your Lion stress balls in compromising positions/situations or unusual places. This could be a running gag for a while.