Never saw this coming

Jesus Horatio Christmas.

We just wish the raging idiots, er, dream team would NOT do something we predict just to prove us wrong. But, alas, they continue to do stuff. And we called it.

Dr. Darren Fullerton was named the official vice president for wet T-shirt contests today by the Bored of the Governors. From reports, one member of the committee, Cheryl “Property of Bruce” Ciffeli lauded Fullerton as the best candidate by a wide margin.

That is so great. What did the pool of candidates look like? From what we hear, the position was only posted on the BRAND NEW website and the bulletin board at Soul’s Harbour. OK. It was on the call board in Taylor Hall. But only after 10 p.m., so no one saw it.

Is that how it should work? We wondered, so we asked a long-time faculty member how they were hired.

SW (they didn’t know it was us but they do now): How did you know about the job you have now?

Shallow Throat: I saw an ad in The Chronicle.

SW: The Chronicle?

ST: The Chronicle of Higher Education. It is the professional news journal for academics. That is where faculty and administrators look for jobs.

SW: Is it like the classifieds?

ST: No. It has news about colleges and universities, but is where all the schools advertise open positions.

The following is a satirical continuation of the above interview. It did not occur, but the above did.

SW: Did you apply for Vice President for Student Affairs at MSSU?

ST: No. I didn’t see it in The Chronicle.

SW: If you had, would you have applied?

ST: Of course.

SW: Are you qualified?

ST: As the job description is written, my pool boy and gardener are qualified.

Now back to reality.

How do you conduct a search with a committee and not advertise in the standard professional journal of  higher education?

Oh. And how about that committee?

Chair: Dr. Richard Miller, Jared Bruggeman, Athletics Director; Cheryl Cifelli, president of the Faculty Senate; Cheryl Dobson, registrar; Josh Doak, director of housing; and Darrell Sour, president of the Student Senate.

Everyone but Miller and Sour either owes their job to Bruce Speck or reports directly to Fullerton.

Jesus. Arnold Rothstein would be proud of these fuckers.

One Response to Never saw this coming

  1. Give Him a Break says:

    Give Mr. Fullerton the opportunity to prove himself.  Why all the focus on not having a PhD and his degrees related to recreation?  What has he done as interim that prevented him from being a very viable candidate for this position?  Why would the university go to the expense of advertising and bringing in candidates when a very qualified individual held the interim position?  
    You complain about the way the university spends money, and sometimes the complaint is justified.  However, why waste money on an extremely costly and time consuming search when we have someone that is very qualified?  In fact, I would venture a guess that Mr. Fullerton has more managerial experience, work experience, advisory experience and is more published than many of the professors you listen to each and every semester.
    Give him a chance.  Look at the searches, a la Chronicle, that have been conducted in the past few years for key positions and who those brought in.  Think about that.  Why would someone “more qualified” for this job not already be employed?  So they would leave their current position to come to this place you feel is in such shambles?  Or would it make more sense that the candidate is on their way out at their current employer or is currently unemployed?  Exactly.
    Give Mr. Fullerton the opportunity to succeed in this position without the interim stigma, then evaluate him in a year or so if you choose.  However, even as an interim he has made significant changes for the better.  Financial aid has seen improvement, employees are receiving customer service training,  allow him the opportunity to make a difference and build a strong Student Services team before you judge.  You complain that Robert Corn wasn’t given an interview for Athletics Director, and you are probably right, but now they’re giving Fullerton the opportunity at VP and you squawk.
    I feel like you complain regardless of the decision that is made, sometimes it’s a viable complaint and sometimes it seems absurd.
    If you want to see a change in this institution you seem to have a heart for, quit the anonymous complaining.  Make reasonable suggestions to remedy the ills and present the proposed remedy professionally.  You’re not up against the mob here, you’re making villains out of people that are trying to make good decisions for the university.  People that don’t necessarily deserve the criticism you are delving out.  Put yourself in their shoes for a while, walk a mile or two.  Can you do that?  Will you?
    If you’re proud of this institution, and you should be, then support it.  If you’re ashamed of it, tell us why, and give good cause for it.  Everyone makes mistakes, everyone says things they shouldn’t.  Forgive it and go on.  If you start showing some pride in this place, maybe others will follow suit.  If you were as supportive as you are critical, we just might start to come together.  All of the negativity gets old.  This is my school too, and I won’t allow disgruntled students or employees to cast a negative light on it.

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