Eliminating your major? Your job? There is an alternative

Prostitution.

Dealing drugs.

Fuck that flipping burgers and changing bed sheets crap. Those don’t pay. And soon you won’t be able to major in other things that don’t pay, but give you a degree. Things like math, music and theatre.

No biggie. That’s just the language of science (and, really, everything), something that gives us comfort and joy (and tames the savage beast) and something that makes us think and explore important human issues or just laugh.

But let’s keep football. It loses game after game. Embarrasses us with crime sprees and coaches abusing power. But boosters might put us in the black.

Clue: They haven’t yet and won’t. In the meantime, we are putting academics on the chopping block.

Who’s the whore, Bruce?

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