Southernwatch Power Rankings

Over the course of the year, we will be ranking who is moving up and down in the pecking order. Dwight “Gepetto” Douglas and Woody are not included as they are the the ringmasters.

1. LL Cool J-Red: Listed on the Bored agenda as giving a report. If he is at the table, he gets a bullet. (We mean one of those things on the charts that shows something is moving up. Don’t lose your head. We are pacifists.)

2. Darren “to please” Fullerton (with a bullet, see above): This guy drew a cartoon on a napkin at Kitchen Pass and gets his own building. Complete with “Darren’s Wall” (You know you’ve heard that one). Then Doug Carnahan gets passed over by Darren. If this were Tunnell Town, then his vice presidency would make sense. But it ain’t and it don’t.

3. Bob “The Builder” Harrington: As long as this guy keeps getting stuff to “remodel,” move, build or fix, he ain’t going anywhere. And god knows there is grass to smoke (Sorry, we’ll get to football later) cut and weeds to pull.

4. Cheryl Cifelli: The Prezette has the full support of the people trying to destroy everything sacred to the people she represents. Congrats, Associate Prof. Cifelli.

5. Debbie Dutch Kelly: The rumor is that “Smiles” Kelly is really the one running the show. Dwight and RTV are just her front men.

We are accepting nominations in the comments section.

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One Response to Southernwatch Power Rankings

  1. Good work says:

    Well, Darren’s not the only one “to please”. That could be said of everyone on your list plus the rest of BS’s cabinet. He’s got a full slate of puppets to do his bidding. Cifelli is the most depressing. If DDK has any power, it stems from the fact that BS has no idea what she does.

    On another note, thank you for doing what you’re doing. We need the info and comic relief. Hopefully the word of your existence can be spread. Keep up the good work!

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